Kamloops Pride board member on the importance of International Transgender Day of Visibility

KAMLOOPS — Friday (March 31) is the International Transgender Day of Visibility. While strides have been made when it comes to representation and acceptance of trans folx, for Kamloops Pride board member Charlie Smith, today is about remembering those who may not have lived to see that progress.

“Today, of all days, it is really important we honour those people who have died and continue to die, trying to be themselves,” Smith tells CFJC Today.

You may think that seems like an overreaction — how are transgender people dying? It can be as simple as a lack of access to supportive health care.

“The more you deny someone access to say, health care, the more likely they’re going to [die by] suicide because now they feel like they don’t have an out,” Smith explains. “If you’re compounding the problem with family or friends, who aren’t understanding or aren’t supportive, it’s just going to keep compounding.”

According to one study, 82 per cent of transgender individuals have contemplated suicide, while around 40 per cent have actually attempted to take their own life. While suicide is the worst-case scenario, even getting healthcare professionals to recognize you’re transgender can be a complicated and drawn-out process.

“Back when I was transitioning, I had a doctor tell me no, I wasn’t trans,” Smith explains. “They followed a book — the DHS (Demographic and Health Surveys Program). They never thought outside the box, they never thought, ‘Well, maybe this person is actually telling me what I need to hear.’ They just followed those guidelines.”

Smith says she can understand how some people might be nervous about making mistakes around someone’s gender. She suggests being upfront and willing to learn, and if you make a mistake, do your best not to make it again.

“I’m not going to judge someone,” Smith explains. “I’m not going be like, ‘Oh my God, you messed up’ because you’re trying. An important thing to remember is you can just ask. It’s scary and a little startling, but you can be like, ‘Hey, I’m so-and-so, these are my pronouns. What’s your name and what are your pronouns?”

And as Charlie suggests, if you want to be a true ally, take on that work of educating yourself. After all, we’re all just people doing our best to live our authentic lives.